Deer Hunting !

BROKER · 02-13-2006, 05:05 PM

One Saturday morning a deer hunter gets up early, dresses quietly, gets
his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the gun and goes to the
garage to warm up his truck and head out to his favorite hunting area.

He backs his truck out of the garage and discovers the rain is really
pouring down. It is like a torrential downpour. There is also some snow
mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 MPH. He comes back
into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel.

He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so minutes later he
puts his truck in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into
bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is really terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid azz husband
is out hunting in that ****.

**bigdraft** · 02-13-2006, 05:08 PM

BUSTED

kevin

junior · 02-13-2006, 05:09 PM

:roflmao: :roflmao:

Edmguy69 · 02-13-2006, 05:11 PM

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Good'un!!!

BROKER · 02-13-2006, 05:11 PM

Buba and Junior decide to return the hunting dog that they had purchased. Buddywayne, a well-known and respected breeder and trainer, asks them why they want to return the dog.

"Well," says Bubba, "the first time the dog went out he came back and scratched the ground three times. We followed him, and sure 'nuff we shot three turkeys." Junior adds, "The second time he scratched five times, and sure as taxes we shot five turkeys."

"Sad thing is the third time out that dog when plumb crazy." "Thats for sure," says Bubba, "the goofy dog came back, but wouldn't stop shaking that stupid stick."

"You *******es!" exclaims Buddywayne. "The dog was telling you that it had just found more turkeys than you could shake a stick at."

_________________

BROKER · 02-13-2006, 05:14 PM

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

**bigdraft** · 02-13-2006, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BROKER

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

kevin

junior · 02-13-2006, 05:17 PM

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Mustang42 · 02-13-2006, 06:23 PM

:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

**Rcannon** · 02-13-2006, 06:28 PM

OMG...

Gotta send those to my Father in law

02-13-2006, 05:05 PM	#1
BROKER Haulin' Azz Join Date: May 2005 Location: NH & NB Posts: 3,104 Points: 4,982 Thanks: 13 Thanked 30 Times in 21 Posts	Deer Hunting ! One Saturday morning a deer hunter gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the gun and goes to the garage to warm up his truck and head out to his favorite hunting area. He backs his truck out of the garage and discovers the rain is really pouring down. It is like a torrential downpour. There is also some snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 MPH. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so minutes later he puts his truck in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is really terrible." To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid azz husband is out hunting in that ****.

02-13-2006, 05:11 PM	#4
Edmguy69 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Mills River NC Posts: 358 Points: 131 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: Good'un!!! __________________ 2011 F-250 CC Shortbox Platinum Wht Fx4 6.7l (Totalled out on 7-26-2010 -2000 F-250 CC Shorty White 6sp, Luk, Non-Wastegated Van Turbo, 16 clicks of Jody's Tunes ) -2004 Cedar Creek 36' Bunkhouse Fifthwheel

02-13-2006, 06:23 PM	#9
Mustang42 Addicted to Money Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 302 Points: 787 Thanks: 6 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: __________________ 2004 F-350 Crewcab. Bunch of stuff done.

02-13-2006, 06:28 PM	#10
Rcannon Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: here Posts: 10,301 Points: 26,812 Thanks: 632 Thanked 1,016 Times in 613 Posts Images: 7 Postbits NHL Gifts NCAA	OMG... Gotta send those to my Father in law __________________ Russ

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02-13-2006, 05:09 PM	#3
junior early mid life crisis Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 868 Points: 129 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	:roflmao: :roflmao:

02-13-2006, 05:11 PM	#5
BROKER Haulin' Azz Threadstarter Join Date: May 2005 Location: NH & NB Posts: 3,104 Points: 4,982 Thanks: 13 Thanked 30 Times in 21 Posts	Buba and Junior decide to return the hunting dog that they had purchased. Buddywayne, a well-known and respected breeder and trainer, asks them why they want to return the dog. "Well," says Bubba, "the first time the dog went out he came back and scratched the ground three times. We followed him, and sure 'nuff we shot three turkeys." Junior adds, "The second time he scratched five times, and sure as taxes we shot five turkeys." "Sad thing is the third time out that dog when plumb crazy." "Thats for sure," says Bubba, "the goofy dog came back, but wouldn't stop shaking that stupid stick." "You *******es!" exclaims Buddywayne. "The dog was telling you that it had just found more turkeys than you could shake a stick at." _________________

02-13-2006, 05:14 PM	#6
BROKER Haulin' Azz Threadstarter Join Date: May 2005 Location: NH & NB Posts: 3,104 Points: 4,982 Thanks: 13 Thanked 30 Times in 21 Posts	A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers." He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van." He hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

02-13-2006, 05:17 PM	#8
junior early mid life crisis Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 868 Points: 129 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

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